Ok so the title is a little click bait because I didn’t really quit my job, my contract ended and now I am out of a job. I just didn’t think “My Contract Ended Now What?” had the same ring.
Anyway, swiftly moving on! The question is… what now? When I was first told that my contract would not be extended, I thought “FUCK!! I need a job” but then I thought wait, let me take a step back this maybe a blessing in disguise.
A brief back story, I got pretty lazy in lock down like most people I realised that at first it was hard to draw the line of when work finished during the day to then realise, I can actually do most of my work in the morning. When there is no over the desk chatting or stopping in kitchen for a quick chat while making coffee in the office, it’s surprising how much you can get done in a short amount of time when completely undistracted when there is nobody calling you about something completely unnecessary. But I won’t go into the pros and cons of being in the office, I think that will be a topic for another article.
So, when I got told that the company won’t be able to extend my contract at this time, I started to think about all the things that I have always wanted to do but put off for one reason or another. I actually have a list of ideas that I have been making for years that has been just gathering digital dust (because it’s on my phone). Is it time to dust it off?
I remember waking up the morning after my last day at work and having such a mix of feelings, a mix a feelings I wasn’t expecting. I felt relieved… RELIEVED!! Why was I feeling relieved, there was also a sprinkling of excitement and fear? This was a Friday, so I thought I would take the weekend rest and not think about anything and then come to the desk (erm… a table in Pret A Manger) on Monday and see how I feel, which has bought us to now.
So how do I feel now? I would say exactly the same. A feeling of possibilities, a feeling that I could really achieve some of the goals (“dreams” seems to be so cliché now but probably more appropriate).
I have several ideas for making websites and apps which never happened because I told myself that I would learn to code (something I told myself over and over again) then I would build the websites and apps. I said that I wanted to research the financial markets, crypto markets and now NFTs. Not to mention learning Italian and how to play the guitar, oh and start a blog (imagine that). Some of these goals have been sitting there in some form or another for close to the passed 15 years!
So, what’s stopped me I hear you ask? Fear, time, lack of focus, not having the right tools, blah, blah and… blah. It’s the oldest story in human history of why someone didn’t achieve what they wanted to. I think the only unique thing about my situation is that I suffer from a rare nerve condition which is called Hereditary Spastic Paraparesis (HSP). I won’t explain what it is (I barely understand what it is) all you need to know is it effects my walking and is progressive with no cure (currently). I can still walk but I drag my feet and trip over a lot. Even so, people with massive disabilities have achieved more. I don’t think it can ever be an excuse for me.
I think it is time to get my proverbial shit together and figure out want I want to do and get it done. I must make a list of all the possible things I could go after and spending the next few days doing detailed research and planning on how I can achieve these things. I then need to pick a few things that I can really focus on and go really deep with them.
I have read and listened to so many self-help books in my life (yes, I am a serial consumer of the stuff, judge me if you like), but now I think it is time to implement everything I have learnt about achieving goals… and it’s all going to start with this blog post.
I am also going to make a website so I can keep track of my progress, upload projects, talk about books I have read, tool I have used, things I learnt and a lot of verbal diarrhoea of anything I am thinking at the time (brain dump if you will). I am hoping, the responsibility of keeping it up to date will force me to continue to move forward and stay consistent.
Let me be honest and up front, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. But I can’t change the past and the future is but a dream, the only thing I can influence is today and hope it will make a better tomorrow, and given enough better tomorrows, that dream of the future may just become a reality…
