Yes, I think I am a terrible writer.
Well… the truth is I haven’t done a lot of writing in my life, almost none. Yes, I have written the odd document at work (it wasn’t officially published, just a handover document within the team), but the rest of my writing was done when I was in school, and honestly, I hated every second of it!
So why the hell would you want to write?!
That’s a fair question. I have never hated the writing part, I have always hated people reading my stuff, the massive fear of criticism. In school I remember the teacher reading out what I wrote to the class, I literally could have sunk into the ground, or dug a whole and jumped in like a looney toon cartoon. It’s an incredible fear that has stayed with me for 19 years! Whenever I have tried to write stuff since then I have an immobilising fear that someone else is going to read it. This alone causes me to procrastinate on any writing I must or want to do. The need for everything that comes out of these fingers to be a perfect work of art (which is never the case… for anyone that I have come across) seems is so powerful that ironically nothing ever gets written.
The two articles that I have written in the past were incredibly difficult to put out there and even then, I edited them several times… after publishing them!! They were even written a year apart from each other.
Why do I want to write?
I have always felt the urge to write. Whether that be about technology, self-help or things I have just learnt along the way. I have always wanted to communicate with like-minded people across the globe about things I am interested in and honestly… writing is just a nice activity and a brilliant skill to have.
I think writing is a great medium (see what I did there) of expression, where you can take your time and really refine what you mean. You can take out every other element, even a voice, and literally let the words and the readers imagination do the talking.
So, what am I going to do to improve?!
The only thing I can think of is… over exposure. Let me explain.
I thought I should treat this fear like any other fear in life, I need to do it a lot more!
Since I currently don’t have a job, I have decided to write an article a day for 30 days (starting tomorrow). I am freaking out committing to this online, but I need to break this fear of releasing anything I do into the public sphere (I have no idea why I am freaking out… nobody follows or knows me on the internet!).
I have always had crazy imagination and people tell me I am pretty articulate and insightful (I have my moments). I realise that the kind of articulation for speech doesn’t always translate into the written word (have you ever read a transcribed interview… it’s not a nice read)
What on earth am I going to even write about?!
Honestly, I have no idea… I guess it is like talking to the girl of your dreams for the first time, you forget that you have a personality with interests and funny stories (well I think they are funny), looking into the abyss that is now your mind with only your own voice asking where all the useful quips are?! Honestly the worst time for your mind to go blank.
But I guess it is going to be anything and everything to begin with, especially until I find my stride.
I am going to have to apologise in advance for all the bad writing, I have no idea how this going to go… is it possible to get booed off the internet?
There is only one way to find out…
